My name is Natasa Bugaian. I am from Romania. I want to tell you the way I became a christian.

We were a family of atheists: no God, no religion of any kind, no going to church, no Easter and no Christmas.

In July 1997, my family won at Lottery Visa and left for America for ever.
But any child being more than 21 years old wasn't allowed to join his family.
I was that person. I remained home with a long list of names and phone numbers just in case I had some problems.

In a short period of time I found myself all alone: no family, no friends - my friends didn't have time to come and visit me contrary to my expectations; no relatives.
The relatives we had in town were angry because my parents told them about their leaving only few hours before, as a measure of protection.
I didn't have anyone to rely on and the loneliness overwhelmed me little by little.
I started to smoke although I was grown up in a non-smoking family with strong health principles. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was ill.

I took a dog to share my loneliness with but neither the dog nor the cigarette were the solution to my situation.
I thought that no one needs me any more, so I decided to commit suicide.
I chose a certain day to say good bye to everything around me: people, nature, buildings.
I started early in the morning to have time enough. In the evening I arrived home exhausted.

That moment just before committing suicide a thought came to my mind:

“The old people say that God answers when we pray.”

I was crying loudly and I said :

“God I don't know what to do with my life! Take my life and do what You want to do!”

and I fell asleep.

Next day when I woke up my heart was filled with a great and special joy I have never felt before. I made the connection with the prayer I made the day before; my first prayer in my life. I kneeled down next to my bed and I prayed for a long time, for fear that my joy should disapear. I felt a strong desire to read from the Bible but I didn't have any. I thought I must steal a Bible. Next day I went to a church and after the sermon when I thought the church was empty enough to steal the Bible safely I drew near to the bookshelves. But when I was on the point to grab one, a young sister saw me and asked me:

“ What are you doing there?”

I thought my plan failed but for my surprise the sister came took the Bibles from the shelves and kindly invited me to choose one. I chose the ugliest with the covers detached smeared and scrawled. I felt too dirty, too sinful to touch a new Bible.

In August 9, 1998 I was baptized. After my baptism I wanted to go to a Bible Institute but my new christian friends told me to finish first my studies. At the end of my studies, my desire became even greater so, I went to Oradea, to Emanuel Bible University that I graduated in 2003.

After all that God has done for me I know now that

“It is good for me to draw near to God; to put my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all His works.” (Psalm 73: 28)

My life verse is Isaiah 41: 10:

“Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am God. I will strengthen you, Yes I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”